The Sharpening Project

Rules & Protocols Manual

One-on-One Mentoring Model  |  Full Version

0. Framing 1. Definitions 2. Safety Principles 3. Mandatory Reporting 4. Meeting Rules 5. Communication 6. Social Media 7. Moral Standards 8. Difficult Issues 9. Self-Harm Protocol 10. Discipline 11. Documentation 12. Events 13. Parent Relations 14. Training 15. Acknowledgment
0

Legal & Spiritual Framing

Legal Disclaimer

This policy manual is a general template for The Sharpening Project and is not legal advice. Laws vary by state and may change over time. In Tennessee, everyone is a mandatory reporter of suspected child abuse and neglect. All leaders, mentors, and volunteers must comply with Tennessee law and with any additional policies of the host church or partnering organization.

This document should be reviewed and approved by the host church leadership and legal counsel before implementation.

The Sharpening Project is a Christ-centered mentorship program. Every policy here exists to protect students, honor parents, safeguard mentors, and glorify God. Leaders agree to submit to both Scripture and civil authority in matters of safety, integrity, and care for minors.

1

Definitions and Scope

Program Roles

  • Student / Mentee — A middle-school or early high-school male participating in the program.
  • Mentor — A high-school upperclassman approved to meet one-on-one with a student.
  • Program Director — The student leader overseeing day-to-day operations.
  • Head Advisor — Adult ministry leader / pastor providing spiritual oversight.
  • Lead Mentor Coordinator — Leader overseeing mentor assignments and weekly check-ins.
  • Media & Liaison Coordinator — Leader handling communication to parents and mentors.
  • Parent / Guardian — Legal parent or guardian who has signed the Parent Liability & Consent form.

Covered Activities

These rules apply to all one-on-one mentoring meetings, all program-organized events, all digital communication under the banner of The Sharpening Project, and any informal hangouts connected to the mentor–student relationship.

2

Core Safety Principles

If there is ever a conflict between convenience and safety, safety wins. If there is ever confusion between personal privacy and legal reporting, the law wins.

Transparency and Documentation

Parents always know: who their son is with, where the meeting is, when it starts and ends, and how the student is getting there and back. Leadership always has current contact information, signed forms and waivers, and a record of meetings and incidents.

No One Walks Alone

Students do not carry heavy issues alone. Mentors do not handle crises alone. Leaders do not make high-risk decisions alone.

3

Mandatory Reporting (Tennessee-Aware)

In Tennessee, everyone is a mandated reporter. Failure to report is a crime. Those who report in good faith are generally protected from civil or criminal liability.

What Must Be Reported

  • Physical abuse (hitting, beating, intentional injury)
  • Sexual abuse or exploitation
  • Emotional abuse
  • Neglect (failure to provide basic needs)
  • A child witnessing abuse or domestic violence in the home
  • Self-harm or suicidal intent
  • Serious threats of violence toward others

How to Report in Tennessee

1-877-237-0004

Tennessee Child Abuse Hotline — available 24/7

Online (non-emergency): apps.tn.gov/carat

Emergency / immediate danger: call 911 first.

After reporting to civil authorities, mentors must also notify the Program Director and Head Advisor and complete a written incident report within 24 hours. Reporting to internal leadership does not replace the legal duty to report to civil authorities.

4

One-on-One Meeting Rules

Location Requirements

All regular weekly meetings must be in a public place (park, coffee shop, restaurant, church common area), or in a private home only if parents have given explicit written consent AND at least one other responsible adult is present. No closed bedrooms, locked rooms, or isolated areas.

Transportation

  • Mentors may give rides only with written parental permission.
  • Must have a valid driver's license, auto insurance, and follow all traffic laws.
  • Seatbelts must be used correctly at all times.
  • If transporting more than one student, parents must approve in advance.

Time and Duration

One meeting per week, minimum 2 hours. Meetings should stay within agreed time windows to respect family schedules.

No Overnights

No overnight events, trips, or stays without written approval from the Head Advisor and church leadership, plus specific trip policies. No alcohol, drugs, vaping, or illegal activity — if present, the meeting must end and be reported.

5

Communication Protocols

Assume every message could be read by parents and leadership. All communication must be respectful, appropriate, and Christ-honoring.

Texting & Direct Messages

  • No romantic or flirtatious language.
  • No late-night conversations (recommended window: 7 AM – 10 PM).
  • If conversation becomes heavy, move toward reporting — do not attempt to counsel.

"Secret" Conversations

If a student asks for secrecy, mentors respond with:

"I care about you too much to keep anything that could hurt you or someone else a secret." — or — "I promise to keep this conversation between us, and not tell anyone in a way that would shame or embarrass you, but if it's related to your health and safety, I care about you too much to keep it a secret."
6

Social Media and Media Use

  • No photo or video of any student under any circumstances (without signed media consent).
  • Zero social media direct messaging contact of any kind between mentors and students.
  • Never share a student's struggles or story online.
  • Never share screenshots of private messages.
7

Spiritual & Moral Leadership Standards

Personal Conduct

Mentors and leaders are expected to live in a manner consistent with biblical Christian faith and avoid profanity, pornography use, drunkenness, drug use, or illegal activity. If a mentor is battling something affecting their ability to lead, they must disclose it to the Program Director or Head Advisor and step back if needed.

Conversations About Dating & Sexuality

Mentors do not encourage secret relationships or give "tips" on dating or sexual behavior. If these topics arise: listen, point to Scripture and God's design, encourage talking with parents, and involve leadership if the situation seems unsafe.

8

Handling Difficult Issues (Non-Emergency)

These topics must be shared with program leadership (Program Director / Head Advisor / Mentor Coordinator) immediately:

  • Pornography or sexual addiction struggles
  • Ongoing anxiety, depression, or disordered eating
  • Substance use or experimentation
  • Family crisis (divorce, eviction, serious illness)
  • Identity struggles (sexuality, gender), intense shame, or confusion
  • Any situation where the mentor feels out of their depth
9

Self-Harm and Suicide Protocol

If a student mentions self-harm, suicidal thoughts, or a desire to "not be here anymore," treat it seriously.

Immediate Steps

  1. Stay calm, listen, and take them seriously.
  2. Thank them for trusting you.
  3. Say: "I am really glad you told me. You are not alone in this."

Follow-Up Questions

  • How often do you have these thoughts?
  • Have you ever made a plan or tried to act on them?
  • Is there anything that makes these thoughts worse?
  • Do your parents know about this?

Reporting and Escalation

  • Inform parents as soon as possible.
  • Inform Program Director and Head Advisor.
  • If there is immediate danger, call 911.
  • Complete a written incident report within 24 hours.

Message to Parents (Copy & Fill)

Dear [Parent Name], This is [Mentor Name]. I have been mentoring your [Student Name]. They have been such a joy to mentor. Unfortunately they have brought up [brief description of area of concern]. According to our protocol we need to take this to their parents. We won't be excluding the student from the program, however we cannot proceed without letting you know. I've also informed program leadership so we can walk through this responsibly and with care. Please let me know the best way to connect when you're able. Our priority is [Student Name]'s safety and well-being. — [Mentor Name], The Sharpening Project
10

Discipline and Prohibited Conduct

Prohibited Adult Behaviors

  • Any sexual contact, comment, or behavior toward a student
  • Romantic or emotionally dependent relationships with a student
  • Physical discipline (hitting, grabbing in anger, etc.)
  • Sharing sexual stories, explicit jokes, or pornography
  • Supplying or using drugs, alcohol, or vapes with or around students
  • Harassment, bullying, or belittling language

Responding to Student Misconduct

Stay calm, firm, and respectful. Do not shame or humiliate publicly. If serious (illegal substance, violent behavior, harassment): end the meeting if needed, then inform parents and leadership immediately.

11

Documentation, Records, and Forms

Required Forms — Students

  • Signed Parent Liability & Consent form
  • Any additional church-required forms

Required Forms — Mentors

  • Approved application and screening
  • High Credibility Statement from a church/youth leader
  • Signed Mentor Commitment Waiver

Incident Reports Required For

  • Suspected abuse or neglect
  • Self-harm or suicidal disclosures
  • Major behavioral incidents

Reports must include date and time, who was present, exact words or summary of what was disclosed, and actions taken. Stored securely and accessible only to Program Director, Head Advisor, and designated church leadership.

12

Large-Group Event Protocols

  • Adequate adult supervision required; leadership maintains a visible presence.
  • Clear start and end times; attendance records must be kept.
  • Parents must know where the event is and when to pick up their son.
  • Use public, open spaces whenever possible; avoid dark, isolated corners.
  • Any conflict, injury, or concerning behavior is documented and reported.
13

Parent and Church Relationship

The Sharpening Project respects that parents are the primary spiritual and moral leaders of their children. Mentors do not undermine parents, do not encourage secrecy from parents, and encourage students to communicate honestly with their families. The program operates under the authority of the host church — church policies on child protection, background checks, and facility use are binding.

14

Training and Annual Review

Initial Training

All mentors and leaders must attend a kickoff training covering these Rules & Protocols, mandatory reporting and Tennessee law, scenario role-plays, and program documentation and forms.

Ongoing Training

At least once per year: a refresher training on safety, reporting, and program values. Mentors are encouraged to regularly revisit this manual and ask questions if anything is unclear.

15

Acknowledgment and Agreement

Every mentor and leader must sign an acknowledgment that they have read this manual in full, understand their legal duty as mandated reporters in Tennessee, and agree to follow these policies and submit to program and church leadership in matters of safety and conduct.

Signature of Acknowledgment

By signing below, I confirm I have read, understood, and agree to follow The Sharpening Project Rules & Protocols Manual in its entirety.